Slam Dunk Elefant

 

No doubt you've already heard their breakthrough party anthem Trunk Funk, but Slam Dunk Elefant are making sure you never forget.

Tired of the passe visions of Grime and Faux-grime, Slam Dunk Elefant set out to capture the new sound of the London trenches. Crack, street luge, bottled water, and Hello! magazine are all to blame, as Slam Dunk Elefant cut their own path through the wilderness, rejecting the traditions perpetuated by their african and asian cousins. Slam Dunk Elefant are a whole new perception.

See them under cover of darkness, and I mean darkness.

HIV

Some say Let's B positive is a protest album, others a concept album, but all we can really say is, it is "an album". Let this be the poignant image that springs to mind when "us" remembers 2007. Let's B Positive is the follow up to the bronze selling Full Blown (2004) and HIV have lost none of their intensity. They are still, highly contagious, avoidable in theory, but ultimately the consequence of a flaming libido, a bottle of brandy, and a sweet pair of lips that love to say yes. Animal-like gyrations, delicious weepings of cement-esque abuse, everything you've come to associate with the name HIV. Sacra-Bleu! This is the kind of album that leaves you making regretful promises in even more regrettable short term "relationships".

MAKE FACE NOT RAW

Making Face are obviously not interested in saving face, since every live performance is an exercise in constant humiliation for everyone involved.

If you like your steak with pepper sauce you'll like this band, mushroom sauce – not so much, if you don't like steak then stay home cheese-eater.

Topp Katz Rap Attak

As we say at Topp Katz Rekorddz, "Try Hard or Die Trying".

This is what MC Big Red Werewolf had to say about the release of Topp Katz Rap Attak, "Yeah chicken dog an I an me mate beef doggus be eatin wif flava yo! Gritz n yo! Werd!"

You can't argue with that. Well, can you? You can't.

ISH NISH NARY

Ish Nish Nary is the pseudonym for Spanish avant-garde performer Elizabethez Smithez.

Elizabethez is an intriguing and captivating performer – physically deformed by a childhood bout of spinal meningitis and standing at a height of 214cm, she cultivated her severe stuttering into a vocal trademark that coupled with severe asthma and chronic bronchitis became a most unique style, described by NME as "having the mental age of an 8 year old".

Elizabethez spent the first 38 years of her life shunned by fellow villagers, who referred to her as el loco ojo mendiga bestia reina todo los sucio tonto (literally, The crazy eyed beast queen of all the filthy idiots). But in 1998, she escaped from her pit and hit the road, "performing" for food along the way.

Many have remarked on "its amazing courage", though it's not so amazing when you discover she can barely see beyond the end of the stage as a result of severe myopia. What is amazing, is that she manages to play the banjo despite missing both thumbs, and can smell any food in a 6 metre radius – despite having a wooden prosthesis where her nose used to be.

Ish Nish Nary has been a minor success in English speaking countries that can't understand her puerile lyrics. In 2004 her live act made headlines for the wrong reasons when she had an "episode", described by her agent as "an unfortunate lesson in the dangers of mixing demazin with alcohol".

Elizabethez returns to the stage this year after overcoming pneumonia, that she caught during a bout of chemotherapy. Elizabethez says the key to success, is "good health, good friends, and whole lot of luck", none of which she has had any of. She also picks her scabs.

Ish Nish Nary is touring in May, supported by Kookie Konstruktor.

Jizz

The Musical. Based on a true story.

Jack, a 15 year old boy is traumatised when his mother walks in on him at moment of ejaculation. Disgusted and ashamed, he runs away from home, embarking on an insalubrious journey of self-discovery. Jack soon finds himself, working as a Jizzmopper in a seedy porn theater, and unable to achieve orgasm without recreating his scarring experience.

If there's one thing to learn from Jizz, it's that there's no place like home,
even if your home is crap.

Jizz was the last musical written and composed by Jacob Frost before his tragic 1994 suicide. His mother Wendy had this to say about it's release,
"I don't minded that Jacob popped his lid, his father did too, but I wish he ain't not done it in the car!"

Topp Katz is proud to release Jizz for the first time, in a double LP set, with a storyboard centrefold.

The Thin White Lions

The Thin White Lions are, cutting up your shit, tagging your bathroom, and carrying around your best bottle opener in their pocket. When they walk out the door you're never going to see them again, but don't make a big deal of it, because they're the life of your party – Ride it while it's Shit-Hot.

Random tech cut ups, and pride driven beats, much roaring, zebra carcass, no hyenas.

Very Topp Katz Christmas

So. I've been told, that the rationale for this album is not "Fun" enough, apparently, "depression doesn't sell rekorddz". So. I'm writing another, and you can choose which you like.


The Hollywood version.

Yay. Yay. Yay. Christmas is here. What would make you physically smile more, than the look of joy on the face of a loved one when they open their present and see the latest
Topp Katz Rekorddz release? Probably nothing. And then, afterwards, surrounded by piles of unneccessary consumables, you can eat and drink and eat and drink and eat until you throw up. Then go to sleep, and know, This is happiness.


For the Realists.

Apparently, Christmas is not about getting drunk at dinner and fighting with your arsehole Dad who keeps calling you a failure, even though his and your ideas of success are at opposite ends of the spectrum, what would he know about your success, or whether your date did or didn't just (allegedly) smoke heroin in the good bathroom.

The point is, in the spirit of the season, Topp Katz has got clean, three weeks and counting, and we're releasing music again. And, in the spirit of my continuing therapy, this Very Topp Katz Christmas contains a collection of the songs that punctuated my downward spiral in the 16 days after last Christmas.

Merry Christmas Dad, this one's for you.

Cyclone Larry

Roadie, Cyclone Larry was catapulted into the underground when performing a
soundcheck at a recent World Hunger Protest. Primarily, but not exclusively,
acknowledged for his howling blues, Larry torments his audiences leaving them both, hungry and hungry for more.

Larry only scratched the surface of his possible mainstream audience when he got into a backstage fight with several audience members.

"They kept coming at me, but I did not want to hurt them, so I just tried to poke their eyes out. Unfortunately I missed and only scratched their face. They scared me and I scarred them." Larry told NME in a recent interview recounting the event.

Larry enjoys relaxing after his shocking performances with a Banana Split Sundae.

Hott Dogz - a Topp Katz compilation

To all you Krazy Katz been scratching at our door:
Topp Katz Rekorddz is proud to announce the re-issue of our 1998 compilation Hott Dogz. It's a limited edition of just 30,000 pressings, brought to you as the bigg kat in the sky intended, orange vinyl, 78rpm.

Containing some gems from the past, some you'll remember, some we forgot, you'll be glued next to the gramophone for hours. You'll pretty much wee yourself with excitement - just like I did, not fully, but a bit came out.

Young Buck

When a friend asked us what we thought of the name Young Buck for his new band, it was suggested that internet searches might turn up something unexpected.

However, we also thought it would be a great name for a band of ageing 50+ dads with a sense of irony. So Topp Katz got on it, and gathered some of the greatest receding rockers - that aren't dead, Bob "Fingers" McGee, Keith "2-Tone" Kennedy, Ross "Fletcher" Fletcher, and Frank "Fred" Finlay - Young Buck was born. You might not like it but your Dad will. Groan-worthy puns, shameless dancing, and very loud shirts are the order of the day.

Mr & Mrs Average

Mr & Mrs Average, are far from average, they are well below it. They met in 1981 at the Canberra summer home for Dwarves, midgets, and other diminutive folk, and, united by their love of music and travel, they married, left the home, and toured relentlessly from 1982-1994 before being spotted by Topp Katz Rekorddz, busking in Ipswich, Queensland. Impressed by their stage presence and post-theatrics, Topp Katz quickly signed them up and to date they have been one our most prolific acts.

Dober Man

Just when you thought metal vocalists could not become more brutal, Dober Man have raised the bar, and then brought it crashing down on our skulls, before repeatedly raising and lowering the bar, on our skulls, raising, lowering, raising, lowering.

Locked in a solid steel cage and surrounded by one of the most technically proficient "progressive death metal" bands in existence, Warren the Dobermann is probably the first dog in history to be an active member of a metal band. Warren barks in perfect time with the music occasionally lashing out and attempting to attack audience members - it's a live show you just can't miss.

Topp Katz is proud to bring you their first release - on 12" of course.

Cot Death

Despite catchy, well constructed, and hook laden pop songs, Cot Death, have never managed to capture the attention of major labels/radio stations. Singer Darryl Brown has a voice reminiscent of an early Joe Cocker, though it has been suggested lyrics like, "Get the abortion or I'll coathang you myself" and, "I'll bring the wine, you bring the holocaust, let's have a party" may have something to do with Cot Death's lack of broad market appeal.

The Specs

The Specs are not really a band but more a set of musical parameters applied to various rotating musicians. It's a wonderfully pretentious theory, where constraints force each musician to create music that they otherwise may never have created.

While there is a consistency in band, it is the differences that are more pronounced. Rules that allow the members to break from their usual styles, and transend.

The Specs were originally the brainchild of Derek Thompson (One hook, two hook) but have been known to contain members from bands such as, Banana Split Syndrome, La Spastique, Jam & Cheese, and Absentism.

Johan Van Hügel

Brain damage is no laughing matter, but for Johan Van Hügel it was a cloud laden with silver and other precious metals.

After a freak aqua biking accident, former child prodigy Johan can now put his 11 years classical piano training to use - freed from the burden of cognitive thought. Writing intense pop operas, Johan's music is, dynamic, beautiful, and at many times non-sensical. Johan has been gifted an autism that allows him musical insight into the human condition, though, no other kind of insight in the slightest.

Superbia

This all-female, all-housewife, all-star barbershop quintet hail from Melbourne suburb Toorak, and while the leafy region is better known for old money than independent music, Superbia are changing perceptions. Superbia formed after meeting in various daytime craft groups in the eastern suburbs – with busy CEO husbands, and children absorbed by exclusive private schools, these mature strong-minded women decided to combine their Master's Degrees and abundant spare time with a common love of song.

This melody driven music tells the candid stories of the champagne life, a rich tapestry of, rich tapestries, unrestrained spending, unfounded slander, and a seedy underbelly of sordid affairs and debauchery.

La Spastique

La Spastique's charismatic frontman, Daniel Daniel O'Rafferty, is somewhat of an enigma – enigmatic because he has never actually been captured on any of their recordings.

Nevertheless, La Spastique have positioned themselves at the forefront of the post-futurist-avante-garde movement. La Spastique fans have been known to travel kilometres in distance to see them play. Whether it be in a small low-end bar, or in a small mid-range pub, La Spastique are guaranteed to put on a show. The Guarantee literally states, that on any given date that La Spastique is billed to perform by an approved representative, agent, manager, or other authorised proxy, that La Spastique will perform a show as defined as, A display; a manifestation: made a show of strength, or, A public exhibition or entertainment. It's is guaranteed that if these terms are not met, the the bearer of a full priced ticket, and receipt of valid proof of purchase, is entitled to a full-price refund or transfer of credit to another show by La spastique of equal or lesser value. Not Valid Sundays or Public Holidays.